"I knew that teenagers sparkled. I knew they knew something children didn't know, and adults ended up forgetting."
—Lorde
Ever since I was a kid, I always thought that the spring was blue, light blue with the breeze that was scented by sun, with the laughters that adorned it. Sometimes I zoned out thinking about being a teenager. Like in the cartoons I watched. Like on the books that my mom bought for me. They had always potrayed teenager phase as an amazing thing that shaped us. That it sparkled like the glitters I used to always buy whenever I went with my parents to get my new stationery.
And now I often think being a teenager is like running, barefoot, along the shore. While the sun is leaving, with the waves gliding. And the laughters of the people whom I love (that will never be enough). It's like the spring. It's blue. Blue like the sky, myosotis, blue raspberry popsicle. It feels like touching the white foams that were brought by the ocean. It smells like the raw scent of sea. Blue is different when I am just a teen who loves my life. It's light. It's nice. It's joy.
I can't help but think that life is too short for me to feel and see everything as my teenage self that still won't forget what is it like to laugh with my friends till everything fades away in the background. Time passes quickly. I know where I am with. I am hysterical and useless. But I know that one day I'm going to sit in front of the grave of my memory. Watering it down with the rain from my one and only light in the blue spring. They look like the only things that keep my sanity up. Everything else is just a mere made-ups in my mind. They're the only ones my eyes were made to stare at.
It's like seeing the sun get chased away by the night. The last bit of its light is lent to the moon. The sea isn't blue. The shine isn't reflected like I want. It's orange. It means I'm going to part from all of this thing. The only thing that looks real for me.
